I must be honest that I kind of accepted that my husband would probably cheat on me at some point. But nothing could have prepared me for this; my husband is a blesser to a much younger woman. I don’t know how he does it, because I know all that happens with our money.
She is probably about 19 years old, a student and he is 53. I cannot believe that my husband has become one of those men. Can’t he find a grown woman, at least? How do I confront him without disclosing that I once followed him?
It’s completely understandable if you feel devastated. Below are five suggestions to keep
in mind as you figure out whether or not you would like to stay together with your partner
after this incident.
1. Stop thinking about her age:
So what if she is 19 years old and much younger
than you and him? Age is not a factor here. He
cheated. Would it have made it better if he had
cheated on you with someone your own age? Of
course it wouldn’t. You also cannot say why doesn’t
he find a grown woman. It doesn’t justify it.
2. Be honest with yourself:
Sure, he was the one who wasn’t honest with
you, but now that you know for a fact, it’s time for
you to be honest with yourself. If you want the
marriage to work, you must assess the entirety of
the situation and determine whether or not it’s
actually worth saving.
3. Know who you are, and be comfortable with it:
For goodness sake, do not start acting younger.
Just because he is having an affair with a younger
woman doesn’t mean he liked everything about
her. In fact, there’s probably only one thing that he
was after, and it wasn’t her immaturity.
4. Evaluate your sexual health:
Your husband is cheating on you with a younger
girl and only likes having sex with her. That’s all there
is to it. And any healthy marriage requires a good sex life.
But the sex should stay between the wife and the
husband. If you don’t find yourself sexually healthy,
then take steps to change it. Get tested for HIV as well
because you don’t know the sexual history of this
5. Ask yourself if this may happen again:
Could it be possible that this was a once-off
thing? Everyone makes mistakes. Yeah, his mistake
was stupid, and hurtful, but it was a mistake, right?
Maybe it wasn’t. You know your husband better
than anyone else, and you should be able to see
whether or not his affair was a mistake or whether it’s
something that is likely to happen again.
Let us talk about the financial side of this discussion.
Blessers and sugar daddies woo younger ladies by
giving them financial benefits. If you are not seeing
any changes or impact in your finances, could it be
possible that they are in a relationship and that he is
not necessarily spending money to win her over?
I am bothered by the fact that you were already
expecting him to have an affair and are more
worried about the age of this lady than her existence
in his life. You don’t mention it, but it seems as if you
have prior experience with his infidelity. It seems as
if that is another issue that needs to be dealt with.
Get to the root cause of your marital problems.
The younger woman is a symptom and not the
cause of your problems. Confront him, tell him
about your initial suspicion of his behaviour which
led to you following him.